3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
