Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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