Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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