We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Who died my cat blue again?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
how drunk are you?
Several
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
