Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
