I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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