Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
