i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
