Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
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