you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
