We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
