She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
