He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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