morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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