woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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