so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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