You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
