If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
