dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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