It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize