he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just high enough for therapy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
