You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
