I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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