Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize