WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
