I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
zippers are such a cool invention
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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