if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
