I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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