My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
