How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
