I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
