who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I deserve this hangover.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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