I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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