The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
