the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think my moral compass just broke
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
