im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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