i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
