He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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