dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
