I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
