See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize