Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
