ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
