you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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