My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
