he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize