You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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