if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
