The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
