I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
