My sheets look like a crime scene.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize