Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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