I think I am morally bankrupt
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
