So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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