I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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