So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize