would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Quick, to the slutcave!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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