I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize