woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
