ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
