He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
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Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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