it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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