he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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