was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
