he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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