Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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