when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
