dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
