I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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