Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
